


i found love where it wasn't supposed to be

by helenalives



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Oh, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richie Tozier's Comedy is Based on John Mulaney, Richie Tozier's Stand Up Act, Run-On Sentences, angst if you squint, i love that that's a tag, ill add more tags to this later, love that for me, uhhhh idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:20:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21678904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenalives/pseuds/helenalives
Summary: "i'm gay, and it's been a long road to get here."he laughed nervously, and then took a deep breath."i think i first knew when i saw one mister leonardo dicaprio in titanic for the first time," he got a cheer for that. "i know, right? leo, baby, if you see this, give me a call," he winked dramatically at the audience, waving and blowing a kiss to the cameras that were set up to give netflix a rough draft for a possible special. "but i think what solidified it was when i saw my childhood best friend for the first time in 27 years a few months back, and my first thought was,'huh, i guess i can't make jokes about fucking your mom anymore. she was never nearly as pretty as you are.''he laughed, adjusting his glasses before continuing. "but then again, i carved our initials into a shitty wooden bridge in my hometown when i was like thirteen, so maybe i knew i was in love with him before then."orrichie comes out onstage during his first original show.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 13
Kudos: 290





	i found love where it wasn't supposed to be

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic for the it fandom uwu!! it's also my first fic in a LONG time, so please give me constrictive criticism!! i'd love to write more for eddie and richie <3
> 
> also, the mcdonald's bit and the mick jagger bit are taken directly from john mulaney, and the "oil me up, daddy" quote actually came out of bill hader's mouth. i don't know how to write standup, sue me.
> 
> enjoy!!!

the first time richie said the words out loud, he was in his therapist's office.

after coming home from derry, he had put off therapy. he had toyed with the idea for years, and had bookmark on bookmark of results stemming from _therapist la area._ after derry, it felt necessary, almost urgent, but how would he talk to someone outside of the loser's club about the killer space alien who had been tucked under derry for years? how could he talk about neibolt, about the scars on eddie's cheek and torso, about how he had to beg the other losers to take eddie with them as the world collapsed around them? how he almost lost his two best friends in two days, friends he didn't even remember he HAD before mike called, before one showed up late and the other came out of a coma?

he couldn't justify it, so he didn't go. until he did.

it was eddie's fault. it was a month after derry. richie had been in the middle of writing when the notifications popped up on his phone. 

**THE LOSER'S CLUB:** _from eds_

 **eds:** _by the way, i got a divorce. it was finalized today._

 **eds:** _and i'm gay. just thought you guys should know._

richie had just stared, shaking, as the replies came in.

 **bevvy:** _oh my god eddie! congrats! i'm so proud of you!! :,)_

 **staniel:** _congratulations, eddie_

 **billy:** _proud of you, buddy!_

 **ben handsome:** _i'm happy for you, man :)_

 **mikey:** _< 3_

richie had run to the bathroom, phone forgotten on the floor, and promptly threw up. twice. after making his way back to the living room, he had typed out a quick _proud of u, eds_ before turning his phone off and then sat back down at his laptop to google _therapist los angeles._

he thought better of it, though, and quickly tagged _lgbtq friendly_ to the end before pressing enter.

he had know for years he was gay. he had fucked around in college with guys, and it was never anything serious, but it was enough for him to know that he maybe didn't like girls the way he should. (he had known since he carved "r + e" in the kissing bridge, but it was derry. what could he have done?)

he had called a woman named andrea the next morning, and had four sessions with her under his belt before he said it out loud. they had been talking about the loser's club, about eddie and his divorce, eds and how an escaped "serial killer" had stabbed him, eddie spaghetti and how easy it was to make him blush, when andrea had softly asked, "you're in love with him, aren't you?"

richie had stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening, freezing for a few moments before standing up and striding over to andrea's office bathroom, thankfully managing to shut the door before the unmistakable sound of vomiting was heard.

he had opened the door a short while later, said, "i'm gay," and walked out of the office, already ordering an uber.

that was five months ago, and he had gone back that following tuesday with a sheepish smile and an apology. andrea had just smiled and said, "let's unpack that, yeah?"

so. richie tozier was gay, in love with his best friend, and quite frankly, terrified.

he had been writing his own material for months now, and finally had enough to put together a cohesive show that his agent would accept. when richie emailed him the finished script, paul had texted a quick "so we're rebranding?"

and richie thought, _huh. maybe i am._

sure enough, as soon as the dates for his new show had come out, that's what the internet was wondering. one sentence from a critic that kept ringing in the back of his head had read "will trashmouth tozier's new material be enough to put him back on the comedy circuit?", and honestly, richie had forgotten that he's been a minor celebrity before his very public meltdown when mike called him. but as he stood backstage, minutes before his first show in half a year, he found that wasn't what he was nervous about.

no, he was nervous because the losers were here, about to see him perform live, and that meant they'd all know by the end. that meant eddie would know.

he was brought out of his thoughts by paul's voice saying, "tozier, you're on!" and a gentle push, a smile and a thumbs up, and richie was on stage.

after not performing for six months, richie felt out of place. he felt a bit sick, but that was pure unbridled anxiety stemming from what he was about to do. he walked out to applause, flashed a smile at the audience, and picked up the mic.

_it's now or never. start talking, rich._

so he did.

"my name is richie 'trashmouth' tozier, and let's get one thing straight: i'm not!" richie winked to the audience as he said it, hoping his face didn't give away the nervousness, and surprisingly, there was no lull in the cheering or clapping. he could have sworn that it actually got louder for a few moments, and _wow. okay._

"yeah, i know, not my best work, but my agent thought it'd be a good icebreaker," he said, allowing his smile to widen, comforted by the audience's acceptance. _don't look for them right now_ , he thought, and continued. "but i'm gay, and it's been a long road to get here."

he laughed nervously, and then took a deep breath.

"i think i first knew when i saw one mister leonardo dicaprio in titanic for the first time," he got a cheer for that. "i know, right? leo, baby, if you see this, give me a call," he winked dramatically at the audience, waving and blowing a kiss to the cameras that were set up to give netflix a rough draft for a possible special. "but i think what solidified it was when i saw my childhood best friend for the first time in 27 years a few months back, and my first thought was, _'huh, i guess i can't make jokes about fucking your mom anymore. she was never nearly as pretty as you are._ '' he laughed, adjusting his glasses before continuing. "but then again, i carved our initials into a shitty wooden bridge in my hometown when i was like thirteen, so maybe i knew i was in love with him before then."

he almost threw up. but he didn't.

now that it was out in the open, the rest of the show passed in a blur. richie talked about his childhood, now that he could remember it. he talked about the losers. he talked about eddie. he talked about how once, his father had stopped at a mcdonald's on a roadtrip with a young richie and stan and a very exasperated maggie tozier. 

("so, we’re going on the highway. we’ve been on the road for three hours. and in the distance, we see a mcdonald’s. we see the golden arches. and we got so excited. we started chanting, “mcdonald’s! mcdonald’s! mcdonald’s! mcdonald’s!” and my dad pulled into the drive-thru, and we started cheering. and then, he ordered one black coffee for himself. and kept driving. and, you know, as mad as that made me as a little kid, in retrospect, that is the funniest thing i have ever seen in my entire life. how perfect is that? he had a vanload of little kids, and he got black coffee. the one thing from mcdonald’s no child could enjoy.")

he talked about when he worked as a writer for snl, mick jagger was not exactly a nice person, but somehow got everything he wanted anyway.

("mick jagger would go like this, “diet coke!” and one would appear in his hand. now that’s not nice, right? the way i was raised, you’re supposed to say, “may i please have a diet coke, please?” and then maybe you will get one. and i bet all of you were taught to say please and thank you. but if all of us could go, “diet coke” and one would appear in our hand, we’d do it all day long. even if you don’t like diet coke, you’d just summon ’em so you could chuck ’em at oncoming cars.")

he talked about how, at a meeting with his agent the other day, he had sneezed and it sounded like a cough, and could the audience guess what he said when paul told him bless you? "i bet you can't," he laughed. "no, it wasn't 'thank you'! what kind of person do you think i am? no! i said, 'oil me up, daddy! it's dinnertime, and i'm a little soup boy, chompa chompa.'"

he saw a woman in the front row crying from laughter, and felt completely in his element for the first time in months, years maybe.

and soon, he was walking off stage to thunderous applause and cheering, and paul smiled and clapped him on the back.

"good news. they loved the rebrand. you're getting the netflix special."

and richie stopped, and stared, a nonverbal invitation for paul to explain. paul just smirked, and said "there were a few reps from netflix in the audience. i got the email right after the story about your dad."

"i'm sorry, WHAT? you got the email in the middle of the show?" slowly, a smile spread across his face, and for a moment, he forgot about the losers, but before he knew it, he was getting the wind knocked out of him and a mouthful of short red hair. paul winked, said "we'll talk later," and walked away.

he looked down to see one beverly marsh, hugging him as hard as she possibly could.

"richie, honey, i'm so proud of you!" her voice, muffled by his shirt, sounded so sincere he almost felt tears prickle at the back of his eyes. almost.

he smiled into her hair, hugging back tightly. "thanks, bevvy," he said softly, looking up to see the rest of the losers, smiles wide and all coming at him in a herd. his eyes widened, and then he was at the center of the first group hug he'd had from his friends in years. this time, his eyes did water.

as they separated, all of the losers were offering their congratulations, and he looked at all of their faces, but the one he wanted to see the most -- or maybe the least -- wasn't there.

bev must have seen his face fall, because she says, "he had to step out for a second, honey. he said he'd be in the lobby, and that he was still coming to dinner with us." she hugged him a second time, her breath tickling the shell of richie's ear as she whispered, "he doesn't hate you."

and _oh_ , richie had actually forgotten that he had pulled that little confession stunt. he felt the bile rising in his throat, but swallowed it for the moment, and said "okay, bevvy. thanks." he straightened up, announced he was going to change and then they could leave, and all but ran to his dressing room. this time, he didn't have time to shut the bathroom door before he was on his knees, heaving up the granola bar he'd eaten an hour or so before the show.

it wasn't long before he felt a pair of hands on him, one rubbing his back and the other on his forehead, pushing back his hair a bit. a voice said, "god, you really are a trashmouth, aren't you?" and richie froze for a second before more bile made its way up his throat and he was leaning over the toilet bowl again.

the voice continued. "i fucking hate you, rich. i was gonna be romantic! i was going to wait in here and ask if you really thought i was pretty, if you really love me, and i was gonna say that i love you too, i have since i was sixteen, idiot, and richie, i really wanted to kiss the shit out of you, but now i can't kiss you until you've brushed your teeth, and i'm sure you didn't bring a toothbrush or toothpaste, asshole."

richie let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, and turned around to see big brown doe eyes looking back at him.

"there's both a toothbrush and toothpaste in my bag, eddie spaghetti," he said, smiling, and leaned in to press an unwanted kiss to eddie's cheek.

"richie, you're so fucking gross, i hate you so much," eddie said as he stood up and walked out of the bathroom, wiping his cheek. he continued from the other room, and richie heard a smile in his voice. "you're such an asshole too. why do i love you?"

richie watched, now fully seated on the bathroom floor, as eddie came back with his toothbrush and toothpaste. he studied the scar on eddie's cheek as he talked, saying "i swear, i don't get it. you're such a bitch. when was the last time you replaced your toothbrush? because this is disgusting, rich, and it was just laying in your bag, god, you're so gross!" as he wet the toothbrush before squeezing some toothpaste on it and handing it to the taller man, before plopping himself on the bathroom counter, talking the whole time.

richie cut him off when he asked "remind me why i'm in love with you?" for the third time, saying, "probably stockholm syndrome, babe, i don't know," around a mouthful of toothpaste. eddie tried to hide his smile and motioned for richie to get up. richie obliged, moving to rinse out his mouth, as soon as he was done, he was being pulled by his shirt into eddie's space, forcing him to crowd eddie into the counter, watching eddie's lips with fascination as he asked, "you meant what you said up there, right, asshole? you really-- you think i'm pretty?"

blue eyes snapped up to look right into brown eyes. "eddie, baby, i think you're fucking gorgeo--" and then he was being kissed, hard. richie wrapped his arms around eddie's waist, pulling him closer, and eddie's lips were soft against richie's chapped ones, and somewhere, in some part of his brain that wasn't chanting _eddie eddie eddie_ , he thought _this is all i've ever wanted._

they broke apart on a sigh, twin smiles on their faces, when richie blurted out, "marry me?"

and eddie laughed, and said, "a little forward, tozier, don't you think?" before kissing him again and mumbling a _yes, dummy_ against richie's lips, and richie lets the tears fall this time. he leaned back, studying eddie's face for a moment before pressing a kiss to his forehead and asking, "so, mr. _tozier-kaspbrak_ , would you like to go to dinner now?"

eddie's eyes widened, his smile growing impossibly larger before saying, "i'm not keeping my last name at all, rich. there's nothing tying me to it."

"well, what if--"

"if you make a joke about wanting to marry my mother, i'm calling off this engagement, richie."

richie laughed, and helped eddie down from the counter before pressing a kiss to his temple. "guess i better keep my mouth shut then."

"i love you," eddie said, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, before taking his hand and leading him out of the dressing room.

"i love you too, eds."

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this during a manic episode while avoiding my roommate, and i don't hate it!! again, all rights for those bits go to john and bill. and the title is from "i found" by amber run. love y'all!!!


End file.
